There is a new field or at least a new emphasis in Psychology that deals with positive emotions and happiness that is called Positive Psychology. One of the measures psychologists use to gauge happiness is social connectedness. People are happier and feel more safe when they know their neighbors and have more social interactions with the community around them. Sounds reasonable.
After High School and College, where there are tons of daily social interactions, the number of social relationships starts to drop off. It's very difficult to maintain that rich social network. People are not as free with their time as in student days, they have responsibilities to their own families, they seem more reserved about forming friendships.
One sure-fire way to meet your neighbors is to get pregnant. (Ha ha, insert your own joke here.) The comments start flowing after that, welcomed or not. There is no end to the conversations just about pregnancy and childbirth. Next you have a little baby and you will talk to many more people. As they grow up, you can trick or treat your way around the neighborhood and actually meet every single person. People who have ignored you or rushed past you for years will stop and talk to their disarming tiny neighbors when they are outside on the sidewalk. After that come discussions about schools, time together at the playground with other parents, and babysitting requests. The presence of children breaks down all kinds of social barriers and gets conversations going.
One thing I noticed after having my first child was how much I had to rely on others. I was flat on my back in bed for 6 weeks straight after #1 was born. People brought me food, did my laundry, changed the sheets on my bed. I cried, both for their kindness and for my own feelings of dependency, because I had not felt so inadequate since I was a young child myself. After I was back on my feet I came to realize it was a permanent state: parents are incredibly needy of help every day! My friends, neighbors, teachers, coaches, instructors fill in for me all the time. On the flip side, while I am dependent on them I try to reciprocate as best I can and get involved in the schools, the dance studio, the Meeting House, the carpools, the sleep-overs, the requests for cookies. Instant (well, alright it took ten years or so) community!
The second way to meet your neighbors is to get a dog. This is simpler. Get a puppy, take it for a walk. Meet everyone there is. Ask your neighbor to let the dog out when you work late, offer to watch their dog when they go one vacation. Plan a play date at the off-leash area. Learn the names of all the neighbor dogs.
Having a good complement of kids and dogs in a neighborhood strengthens the bonds between neighbors and adds layers of interconnected dependence. It makes the neighborhood a better place to live and makes the people in it happier.
Knowing this, what can the neighborhood do to make sure it is a good place for kids and dogs?
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